Letter to Unborn Baby from Mom: 1st Trimester

How I First Found Out About You:

Literally the most agonizing thing I have ever gone through is the story of how I found out about you. Don’t worry; it’s not what you think. I cried the second I knew you were in there because I was so happy! It was what happened after that was so terrible…

First of all you must know one little detail.

I had been trying to get pregnant with you for over a year now, and I was checking every single month at the (Know 6 days sooner!) mark as advertised on all the pregnancy test boxes I had. So at 6 days before my missed period I would pee on a stick and anxiously wait the results.

Well for the longest time it always showed negative . But one day…a super faint, you have to squint your eyes to really see it, pink line appeared next to the normal line and I shrieked with joy….”BABE! Does this mean I am pregnant you think?!” I couldn’t hardly believe it! I took two more of the these line tests and all the results were the same, SUPER DUPER but still there faint lines.

Finally I couldn’t take it any longer…

With the suggestion of my big sister, your auntie Christine, I went to the store and bought a pregnancy test that when the results appear it actually says the word YES or NO. I raced home, took the test and guess what it said? It said YES! Now here is where I cried, I was so happy! I finally was getting my baby!! Yahoo!

Your father and I rejoiced and then after a little while I realized Oh No! We were leaving for vacation in just two days, so I better get to the doctors quickly and make sure my little baby is good, and I am safe to fly on an airplane. Except it was Saturday, and that meant the only way I could get in to a doctor meant I had to go into Urgent Care. So that is what we did. Your father drove to the ends of the earth finding a good Urgent care that was open and that would test me for pregnancy and do a blood test.

Ughhhhh it took forever to get in and get to see the doctor.

Or maybe it wasn’t that long, but it sure seemed like forever. Finally they called my name and took me back, weighed me and had me pee in a cup to test for pregnancy that way first. I did and then I was sent to a room to wait for the doctor. Another long agonizing wait… Your father got impatient and slipped out for a smoke, and wouldn’t you know it but of course when your daddy was not in the room to support me, the doctor came in.

“Have they given you your results yet?” He asked me with a concerned look on his face. “No I said, they haven’t said anything to me.” “Well, “ He said sadly. “The urine test shows you are not pregnant…” My heart nearly fell through my butt. I was shattered…”Wa… what do you mean? I have 5 tests at home showing I am positive!”

I can tell you I don’t really remember the series of events in order that happened after that.

I was stricken with utter despair. Finally your father came back and I told him what had happened. The doctor spoke with us again, and in the end we set up a blood test to check me for pregnancy anyway. Again we waited, they took my blood and told me they would have the results sometime after noon tomorrow.

That was a long sad and agonizing night for me, and you can bet your bottom I called them at exactly 12:01pm the next day for my results. Now here is where it gets even more frustrating… The lady on the phone told me the blood test came back that I am positive for pregnancy, but that the HPC level was SO low that I would need to meet with my OBGYN to get a more clear take on it. “What does that mean?” I asked. “Your saying I am pregnant?” And the lady responded, “Well, sort of.” Confused I said, “What your saying is I am kind of pregnant?” AND THE LADY SAID YES! I am mean who says that right? How can you be KIND OF PREGNANT? Either you are or you aren’t am I right?

Suffice to say I had to leave on a two-week vacation with your father to a cabin in the middle of nowhere, KIND OF PREGNANT.

I had no way for weeks to know if you were ok, or if you really were there or not! It was the most emotional vacation I had ever been on.

Don’t worry everything turned out ok, and you were in there and you were strong and healthy. Turns out you were just so little at that time that even the doctors couldn’t quite tell you were there. You see, what happened is I took the pregnancy test so early that I had probably only been pregnant with you for 3-4 days! When your father and I arrived in Michigan for our cabin vacation I went out and bought a whole bunch more pregnancy tests and every day I would take 1-2 tests. Everyday that little line got darker and all the little words kept reading Yes! My period never came, and I was able to call an OBGYN and get my appointment set for when I got back to come in and see you!

When the vacation was over and it was time to leave I had one more test left, so I took it right before we walked out the door.

To my utter dismay is read NO! So I got to agonize over that the whole flight back home too! Do you see all the ups and downs that were involved on this? Wowey, again I was worried but of course when I got home I took yet another test reading positive and just a few days later went to the doctors and got to hear your strong little heart beat and see you for the first time.

Again I cried with joy, there you were, my precious little baby  there would be no more worrying now! You were alive and strong and healthy, and just perfect! Your father and I were so happy, and got our hearts ready for the most amazing journey ahead of watching you grow and become the most beautiful little girl in the world.

Morning Sickness:

It wasn’t long before I got to experience the ever-famous symptoms of pregnancy called morning sickness. It’s weird…when you think about being pregnant, you don’t really think about being sick for weeks on end and barely being able to keep your eyes open for more then 3 hours at a time. I know I certainly didn’t!

I mean I knew that I would probably experience morning sickness since it seemed that most women do, but I didn’t really know what that meant I guess.

Let me enlighten you little girl…morning sickness is like being hungover…eternally… Truly horrid, I mean it is all worth it because it means I had you and you were growing big and strong! But jeesh! I spent about one full month on the couch and didn’t leave except to pee very often. Yes, the constant need to pee started very early and never really went away. Ahhh the beautiful joys of pregnancy!

I really shouldn’t complain though because many women have it much, much worse then I did. I didn’t even throw up once! I was simply sick to my stomach nauseous continuously for almost precisely 4 straight weeks. And then it stopped. All at once one day, I just felt better. Thank you little one for giving mommy some relief!

You were at a point were you were beginning to kind fend for yourself in the womb and my body was able to go back to doing the one thing is had been doing all my life. Taking care of me again!

Some of the bad symptoms of Trimester #1:

• Fatigue. Pretty extreme fatigue, mind you. I slept roughly 6 hours a day and 10 hours a night.
• Nausea. Constant upset stomach and feeling like I was on the verge of throwing up. I also was very hungry all the time which made things worse. I was sick when I was hungry, and sick after I ate. Nothing worked.
• Strong sense of smell. This was the number one sign I was pregnant. My snout was like that of a goddam hound dog. Ask your father…He would have a cigarette and I would have a full on fit!
• Headaches. 5-6 every week, this is something I got used to as it never really went away through the whole trimester and throughout the entire pregnancy.
• Urgency to pee! This was worst in the beginning and subsided by the second trimester a little, and for a little. In the beginning you were sitting right on my bladder, and there was even a day where I felt I had to pee so bad all the time and nothing was even coming out. AGONIZING!

Is That A Baby Bump? Maybe?

After morning sickness subsided I had time to really get excited about being pregnant, and I began looking in the mirror at my tummy everyday! It is a little ridiculous but I actually thought I had a bump before 12 weeks, hee hee. To be honest I wasn’t doing the same workouts I had been because I couldn’t while pregnant, and I was eating more so I probably was just showing a little extra fat! But at the time you were so tiny it would have been pretty impossible to see you poking out just yet.

I started taking pictures anyway, and I started thinking about how my belly would grow big and round and what that would look like! I was so excited for you to grow and for people to see that I was pregnant that I was constantly feeling my belly and looking in the mirror for my baby bump!

It wasn’t until right around week 12 that my clothes started to barely feel a little bit snug, but the belly really wasn’t going to start showing for a about another month yet.