Because I Love My Daughter So Much: “Why Waiting Works” Book Review

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**Disclaimer: The author of this book is honest and the text (not vulgar) contains some verbiage that may be offensive to some audiences. The honesty is one of the things that pulled me to want to review this book in the first place. However, I want to be upfront about what you can expect as a reader.**

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So, I want to start this off by first sharing a little bit about myself.

I was raised in a Christian household. The values and morals that were my foundation to grow upon were that of the Christian religion. I am so proud of my background and I truly believe that because of how I was raised that throughout my entire life, even through the years where I tested my boundaries, I was always able to stand up again because of the foundation that had been laid for me.

One of the biggest parts I love about the Christian religion is that when it comes to learning about sex and love, there is no shading the truth. I was taught very clearly what the difference between being with someone who loved you and being with someone who did not looked like. I understood how a woman should be treated and what it should mean to both individuals when they decide to get married.

Even though I had my missteps in my life, I was always to come back to my truth and stand up for myself and what I knew I deserved. These are things that I want to teach my own daughters. And even more so I want my daughters to protect themselves and save themselves for the man that will dedicate to them and love them for reasons above and beyond the physical side.

I am not sharing this with you because I am trying to convert you to Christianity, and neither is the author of this book. I am only sharing this with you so that you understand why the message this book brings hits home for me, and is something I felt value in sharing with you. You do not have to be religious to agree with this book!

With that said, I am doing the review of this book “Why Waiting Works” for several reasons:

1. First and foremost I believe that spreading the message that waiting for sex until you have that true love in your life is important. It is something I am proud to share even if at least to simply educate one person out there who may need to hear it. To share that holding back from giving yourself away simply because everyone else is doing it, peer pressure, or a moments weakness, is healthy for your heart, spirit and mind. That it will save you from unnecessary heartache in the future.
2. Secondly, this book is written in the autobiography form, by a man who walked the harder path. Through his struggles he pulled himself out of the darker days. He was able to turn his past into a beautiful lesson for the future. I think that is something worth sharing. I believe in people making mistakes and then learning from them to better themselves. Because as humans we all make mistakes in life. It is how we grow from them that truly matters. I support that!
3. Finally, I am reviewing this book with the hope that one day I can come back and reflect on my initial thoughts and have this to share with my daughters when they become old enough. So I can show them that Mom cares so much about your happiness that for when you were not even a year old, and this new baby girl before you were even born; I was thinking about your future and your hearts safety. If I can love you that much, you can love yourself that much too.

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“Why Waiting Works” by Rob B Kowalski

There is SO MUCH good knowledge and great lessons in this book. There is no possible way that I can touch on all of them without this review being 100 pages long. So I am going to give you my take and pull a few of the biggest messages that stood out to me. HOWEVER I highly recommend you take the time to read the full piece. There is so much more that you won’t want to miss out on. I promise you if you are someone who is looking to learn about why saving yourself is saving yourself in so many more ways than one, then grab this book today and give yourself a much needed gift of love!

Sex is something that is really taken so lightly these days. It is sad how when you turn on the TV all you see is sex everywhere. How can our children grow up constantly surrounded  by this stuff and not think it is the norm? The phrase ‘Everyone is Doing It‘ is what is being broadcast. Yet 50% of the USA’s marriages end in divorce.

I look at my own parents and my mother’s parents and I look up to them and their marriages.

Divorce is something that I simply DO NOT BELIEVE IN. Because to me, why would you get married in the first place unless you were promising to never get divorced. I understand that there are circumstances, and I am not one to judge others, so please know that! But what I am saying, and what is inferred in this book, is that if you take the time to not give yourself into a marriage until you can be sure that there is first ONLY true love there, than you can enter a marriage with that surety that divorce will never be a thing.

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There have been studies performed that prove that in relationships where the couples wait to have sex end up having longer and happier relationships. Because sex binds us spiritually, it is something that should be done after you truly love that persons heart. Than that binding will be so much stronger, and you will avoid binding yourself to someone that may not be good for you.

Why get stuck on someone that may only hurt you?

I can personally say, that as a woman, I have been in relationships in my past that were only bad for me, and yet it took me years to get out of them because I felt so attached to that person. Women all over the world fall into this trap everyday, and so do men! Have you ever known someone, or maybe you yourself, that have been in a relationship that involved a continuous circle of fighting and making up? Taking years to finally end?

“There is a parable in the Bible about a wise and a foolish builder. The foolish builder built his home on sand, while the wise man built his house on stone (which I am sure took longer). The parable says that when the storms came, the house built on sand fell with a thunderous crash. The house built on stone weather the storm. If you have sex too soon and connect to someone your not in love with, your attempting to build a house on a foundation of sand. ” – (Why Waiting Works)

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The biggest question that I believe will come up with this book is, if you do not have sex before marriage than how do you know your really in love?

My personal point of view on this is that if you follow the steps to save yourself until you take the time to first fall in love with that persons heart and they yours, than you will know you are in love already without sex. In the book it says ” …The willingness to commit to someone is the ultimate proof of love. Few people will marry just so they can have sex.” That is the best answer in my opinion, because if you truly love someone who is paralyzed from the waist down, do you choose not to marry them because they cannot have sex?

Let me just say something personal here again.

(When I look at my daughter, I see the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life. And she came from a love between my husband and myself. I remember when I was pregnant with her, about 8 months along, I was washing and folding her sweet little clothes and getting them ready for probably the 3rd time. In anticipation for her arrival I felt it was vital that her clothes were very clean…

Anyhoo, I remember crouching down by the dryer pulling her little onesies out one by one. I was folding them every so carefully and thinking…”Soon, these little clothes will be on a little person that will be living here with me, and will be my daughter. And I am not going anywhere to get her, she is coming from out of inside of me! How crazy is that? This little human being came from what seems like nothing, grew inside of me and is coming out as a living breathing human being! THAT IS LOVE! I thought, that is what sex is really all about. A love so powerful and deep that it can make new life! Wow! Yeah…just think about that. Because to this day I still look at my daughter and think, how did you get here?! So amazing!)

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My dad always used to say to me “Don’t throw your pearls before swine”.

From a women’s perspective we all want security and commitment in love and in marriage right? I think it is safe to say that we all love to be reassured every once in a while by our men. That we are their #1. That they love and respect us. And because men are expected to be dedicated to their women, or otherwise viewed as horrible people for cheating, lying, or leaving, than it is only fair that women give that same amount of loyalty in return. What I mean by this is that in protecting ourselves and saving ourselves for true love we are also giving our fullest value to the man who is deserving of that. How amazing do you think a marriage could be built on that kind of gift?

“Ladies…you want a man to invest his heart, his fortune, and the life to the level of your value? Than save yourself for him. If you are giving it away, you are lowering the value. There isn’t one thing in the world you can give away and raise it’s value. So why do we think that’s any different with our bodies?” – (Why Waiting Works)

In that same sense:

“A real man is one who protects women around him and can exercise restraint in the face of temptation. A real man adds value to other human beings; he is a guardian, a warrior.”  – (Why Waiting Works)

When a girl looks up to her daddy, like my daughter does for my husband and like I always have for my dad; it is because they only see love and safety reflecting back at them in their eyes. When they say to girls, find a man who reminds you of your dad, it is meant to find a man who will make you feel the same amount of love, respect, and safety as their fathers made them feel.

As a teenager I leaned on my dad in so many ways. This is because I knew that no matter what, he would always love me and would always be there for me. Now that I am married to my husband I know in my heart I have that same love and respect from him as well. That is what a true man is made of. That is what I want my future son to grow up learning as well. It is so important for both men and women to learn and hold that personal respect for themselves and one another in order to have love that is true and that will last.

When I look at people I see in the world or even on TV or in movies, I try to always look at them as if they were just children again.

As a mom maybe this is a curse I have now. But I am also so thankful for it because it gives me the perspective of seeing everyone in their purest sense of innocence, instead of being quick to judge them.

If I could have seen men in this light when I was younger, I would have been able to recognize someones pain or fear. I would have slowed down and taken a moment to realize that a man that is quick to get into bed is susceptible, weak, and searching for the same thing. Love. True love. Whether they know it or not. And maybe, just maybe, I could have made better decisions.

‘”When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put the ways of childhood behind me. (Corinthians 13:11)”‘ – (Why Waiting Works)

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Rob explains something towards the end of his book that tells of why he has changed his ways and stands by it.

Why he is able to answer the controversial questions that are thrown his way each day. And can you be surprised that those questions come at him? The idea of saving yourself for marriage is almost taboo these days, and laughable to some! But the truest message that Rob gives has nothing to do with proclaiming yourself as righteous. Nothing to do with you only doing this because it is what God says. His message is that it is simply the healthiest thing you can do for yourself and your love life. And if you read the entire book, I challenge you to disagree with that.

‘”Do not conform to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — His good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)”‘ – (Why Waiting Works)

Looking at my past and my heart starts to race in fear of my daughters one day going through the same things. I never want that to happen! I want to make sure they know that being protective of their bodies, minds, and souls is what a princess does. And they are princesses! They deserve ONLY the best!

You can read “Why Waiting Works” and retain your own copy by shopping the website HERE. Or you can get it on Amazon starting August 6th!

GIVEAWAY

The Author of “Why Waiting Works” Rob Kowalski has been kind enough to send me a second copy of his book to giveaway to one of my readers! Entering to win is SO SIMPLE:

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**Giveaway ends Sunday, July 29th 7pm PST**

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