How To Be A Happy Stay-At-Home-Mom

Before you had kids life was very different and your time was all yours to spend how you please. Once a baby is in the picture that all changes very rapidly. The moment you become a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) daily life becomes a whole new thing all together. It can be scary for a first time SAHM! You spend 9 months growing your little blessing and then spend 3-5 days in a hospital pushing this little blessing out and recovering, only to go home and soon become a full time slave to this little blessing! Fast forward a few years and maybe you have 2 or 3 three of these little blessings running around demanding every ounce of your energy! It is normal to feel like you are losing your mind!

The idea of being a SAHM can sound like an easy life, but it is amazing how incredibly hard it actually is! Some people may wonder what you do all day alone with a baby or two or three… (HA!) The constant changing, feeding, playing, comforting, encouraging, teaching, correcting, cleaning, entertaining… the list goes on and on! It is down right exhausting! You are tired, annoyed, lonely for adult interaction, and probably starving because you have not had a chance to make yourself a quick bite to eat. It is only normal to struggle with keeping it together and remembering to enjoy these days because they go too fast. It certainly doesn’t feel like time is flying by right now!

As a SAHM myself, I fully understand the stresses of the never ending responsibilities you go through each and everyday. This job is no joke and deserves a full time salary! It IS very hard work, but also so incredibly special, and that is why it is so important to be able to enjoy it and be happy! I have been able to find some ways to ensure I stay a happy SAHM, and figured out some things that really work well for me. SO, here are 11 tips to help you be a Happy SAHM as often as you can and maybe more!

Wake Up Before the Kids

Admittedly this is one that I am still working doing consistently. It is really tempting to just stay and bed and keep sleeping when the house is quiet! But if you can get up before the babies, then you will be doing yourself the biggest favor of all. Truly this is probably the biggest tip to staying happy then any of the others listed below! When I do get up before the kids I always have a happier day because I get that time first thing in the morning to get some stuff done without any interruptions. BLISS! I am much happier if I get my blog post done, have my cup of coffee, or get a load of laundry in before the chaos starts!

If you can get into the habit of waking up even just 30 minutes before your kids do, it will be life changing for you! It is not always doable, especially if your little ones are not quite on a schedule, but if you can shoot for some time to yourself in the morning, you will make a big difference on your whole day. There is nothing worse then waking up to a crying baby only to roll out of bed and get straight into it for the next 3-4 hours continuously before you get a second to breath. You need your time to wake up quietly in order to set the tone for the day!

Get Ready for the Day (as if you had a Job you had to go to)

I’ll be the first to say it… It is easy to let yourself go after you have kids and your home all day with them. Leggings, messy buns, slipper socks… ring a bell? What is the point of putting on a cute outfit only to have it spit up on in a few minutes? Why do your makeup if you aren’t going to be seen? What’s the point of it, right? Being a SAHM is a full time job, and just like a job outside of the house you need to get showered and dressed for the day in order to feel good about yourself.

It is a proven fact that if you get yourself dressed and ready for the day you actually feel better and will have a more productive day. Try it, it will actually change your mindset and give you a boost of extra energy that you know we all need. Also, getting ready for the day means you are prepared for whatever comes your way. Maybe the neighbor lady and her kids are outside when you take your little one for a walk, or the doorbell rings and its a surprise visitor or even just the mailman. You can feel good running into people, and maybe even feel up for doing more now that you are presentable.

Another reason I personally like to make sure that I take the time to get ready each day is the example I am setting for my girls. I make a point to let them pick out their outfits, and I take the time to do their hair, wash their face and put on a bow. Why shouldn’t I take that same time for myself?

Go on Daily Outings

Get out of the house and go on daily outings! This can seem like nothing but extra work for yourself, but there are actually many benefits to taking a daily outing and it starts with getting better nap times afterward! Fresh air and sunshine is good for you and for your kids, and all that extra activity can use up a ton of a little ones energy making nap time happen easier, and often means for a longer nap too. Score!

I like to do two little outings a day if I can. One in the morning just following breakfast and one in the afternoon. The first outing is usually a walk either just around the neighborhood or at an outdoor mall. I like to get my kids that fresh air and distraction, plus it gives me a little bit of a break and some exercise. Once we get back home it makes for a nice long nap for both my girls and maybe even myself if I am lucky!

The second outing of the day is usually a bigger one and this is when I like to take my girls to a park, an activity center, museum, or something of the sort. These outings demand more energy both physically and mentally from my kids and mean that bedtime will come easier too. It wears them out and they sleep really good.

Aside from naps and bedtime help, outings are great for getting a change of scenery and being in front of other people makes it easier to keep it together. Sitting at home all day everyday can make a momma go crazy! Little brains need to form new connections in order to learn, and being in the same environment all the time can restrict them from that. Especially once you start having a toddler on your hands, seeing, hearing, and experiencing new things is an important part of their development! Help your little ones grow and learn by getting out of the house!

Play

It can be easy to get caught up in the day-to-day tasks and forget that your little ones needs you to just play with them. These are the years, before they start school, that their brains develop the most and it is some of the most important times for building their learning foundation. Let the laundry and dishes go for a while and get down on the floor and play with your kids.

I like to set aside two times a day when I actually get down on the floor and play with my girls. Sometimes I am really good and we are practicing colors, numbers, or animal sounds. Other days I just lay on the floor and watch them play and shower them with hugs and kisses. Either way I always feel refreshed afterward and they are always in a better mood after getting their undivided attention from mommy.

It can be hard to do this everyday, but if you make an effort to let things go and focus on your kids, the day-to-day chores will seem less demanding and times with your little one will become of the forefront of importance. This is also a good time to pull out the camera and capture some of these memories to look back on later or to blast out to friends and family right now!

At least a few times a week I like to take pictures or videos of my girls doing  new things that they have learned and then text the pictures and videos to a  group of family members. This is fun for me and also fun for my family as we all watch them grow and learn!

Keep A Hobby That is All Yours

Having something to think about other then nap times, meal preparation, and the ongoing list of diapers, wipes, and baby detergent you have to get at the store, is SO important as a mom. Before you had kids you were a young woman with ambitions, goals, and interests. Now that you have kids you are STILL that woman! Just a tad bit busier… Stay in touch with yourself and your sanity by keeping an ongoing project or hobby that is all yours and make time to work on it each week.

Don’t have much free time? I get it! Set up one area of the house that is just for you. A cozy corner for reading, a table with a giant puzzle spread out in pieces you can sit down and work on at any given free moment, set up a painting easel with all the paint already set out, create a small office space and set up your computer to blog in the evenings or early mornings. Whatever is your thing, make it easy for yourself to jump in and out of it when you get those randoms moments!

I spend time on my blog during nap times, in the evenings after the kids are in  bed, and in the mornings when I am having my quiet time. Some days I do not  get a chance to work on it at all and that is ok too!

Make Friends

You are not alone! It is a guarantee that there is another SAHM just like you in your very same neighborhood. It can be so nice to have someone who totally gets what you go through everyday to hang out with. Plus, if you have kids around the same age they can play together while you and the other mom can have some grown-up conversation time!

Look on facebook and see if there is a mommy group you can join, or look online and see if there is a Stroller Strides nearby where you live. Connecting with other moms can be so helpful in learning new tips, getting rid of the loneliness that comes with being a SAHM, and just plain having the support of a friend nearby! It is also nice to be able to bounce mommy struggles, nap time questions, and other daily mom battles off another mom. You can learn a lot from each other and you won’t feel like your being annoying by talking mom stuff if it’s with another mom who is going through the same things!

Be OK with Bad Days

So your 6 month old woke up screaming four times last night, your 3 year old just threw up her breakfast, and you spilled your (now reheated for the 4th time) cup of coffee all over yourself. Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel and have a pajama day. It is ok to turn down the shades, fill up the Netflix queue with Disney movies and have popcorn for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Not everyday will be perfect! It is important to be able to be OK with having a down day, and embracing it!

Even if I am having a good day, there have been days where I can tell my daughter is not. I think it is important to read your little ones’ signs as well, and maybe take a day to just cuddle your babies and give them that extra love they need.

Keep a Routine vs. a Schedule

This one is SO important! Granted at some point it is important to have set times of day for bath times and meal times, it is much easier and less stressful to keep a daily routine versus an actual schedule. A routine is an order of what you do things in, but they are not defined by specific times. Whereas a schedule follows a routine scheduled by the hour. It can be frustrating to constantly be late on a nap or feel like you are falling behind if you have play time scheduled for 2pm and it is already 3pm.

When my first daughter was born I spent so much time writing and re-writing up a schedule to follow each day. At 6am would be the first feeding of the day, from 7:30am – 9am she would nap, tummy time would be at 10:30am for exactly 15 minutes… As soon as I thought I had it perfect, my sweet little girl would completely change it all up and I would get so frustrated! I ran myself into the ground trying to find a perfect schedule only to have to start all over again the next day. It was ridiculous! I find that a routine takes away the stress of watching the clock constantly and I usually end up being more productive in the end!

Educate Yourself

Knowing and understanding your children and being able to identify with their ever growing and learning minds, can help make life a lot less frustrating! If you have a 1 year old that suddenly screams when you pick them up to change their diaper, it may be helpful to understand that they are at a point in their development where they understand things more but are still learning to walk and talk, and get frustrated trying to express themselves. Your just taking them to get a clean bottom, but maybe they were in the process of putting all their blocks into a bucket and get upset when they are suddenly taken away from their task.

I have found myself getting irritated with my 1 year old a lot lately, and I can tell she is definitely going through some big leaps in developmental growth. If I take the time to research what she is learning each week I can be more relaxed when she throws a huge fit in the middle of the grocery store because I understand that she is just trying to express herself, even if it is embarrassing!

There are a lot of resources out there for moms including The Wonder Weeks app that you can download onto your phone. This is one of my favorite resources because it tells me when each of my girls are going through a developmental leap, what to expect, and how long it can last. There is also The Bump and What To Expect, both great resources that I highly recommend checking out!

Cut yourself Some Slack

You are a mom, but you are also human. Cut yourself some slack! Some days you may feel like super mom, and other days you may feel like a complete failure. Try to give yourself a break and remember that you are learning something new everyday and it is ok to make mistakes! We all learn by trial and error and only become better when we do something wrong. Learn from your mistakes and move on! Dwelling on the negatives will not help you to grow and will only pass on negativity to your little ones.

Lead by example and teach your little ones that we all fall down, but the only thing to do is to get back up and try again. Keeping a positive attitude and your chin up will be great for you but also will show your babies to do the same.

Remember the Big Picture

At the end of the day, we are all here to raise the future. One day, a day that will come much faster then you think, you will look back on these days and wish you could do it all over again. I know that may sound crazy right now, but these are the days! These are the memories, the golden years, the most precious times that you will never get back again. Try to remember the big picture and enjoy these days and all that comes with it, because these are your babies and they are only getting bigger everyday!