Happy Valentine’s Day!
OK. When I first found out I was having a girl I immediately panicked. My daughter Aria was born just before Christmas and was the best gift I could have gotten. Fast forward another year and I got another beautiful girl the following Christmas, and well, now here I am a mother of two little girls. The pressure!
Being a female is HARD and I remember very clearly what it was like being an adolescent, pre-teen, teen, and even well into my young adult years. It was not easy, and it was particularly hard to always love myself. I remember my mom always teaching me to take care of myself, think of my heart, and always be picky when it comes to making big life decisions. As much as I want to teach my girls the same thing, I know that I cannot always protect them from everything as much as I wish that I could.
Regardless I am going to do my best to try, and that starts with leading by example! … Today I am sharing 8 ways to teach your daughters self love.
Self Care
Taking care of yourself means that you have respect for yourself if you want to be happy and healthy. Self care covers areas such as exercise, a healthy diet, grooming, quiet time, sleep, and grooming. One of the very first things to do to show yourself Self Love is to first take care of yourself! It is a proven fact that if you get up and get ready for the day that you will be more productive and have a better overall day. Just as if you clean up, brush your teeth, and take time to yourself before bed you will sleep better. This is because you are giving yourself that respect of taking care of yourself first before anything else.
Every morning and evening I have a specific routine I keep for my daughters because I want them to learn how to take care of themselves and to prioritize it as well. I want them to have the habits of self care so that it comes naturally that they take care of themselves first, before tackling anything else.
Beauty On the Inside
Recognizing what it is about you that makes you special is so important as women. It is so easy to compare ourselves to one another, but it is what makes us different that makes us important. The world we live in makes it really easy to rate our own beauty by simply looking in the mirror. Instead of waking up and dressing our attitude we are waking up and putting on layers to cover our external flaws. Focusing on what is on the outside means we are neglecting what is on the inside and that can result is lack of self worth.
I want my daughters to be proud of who they are on the inside, be in-tune with their emotions, and be able to let their personality shine. Children are so amazing at being shame free, and free-spirited. I want my girls to embrace that wild joy inside themselves and stand tall no matter what anyone else thinks. I try to do this daily by pointing out what things I love about them on the inside such as, “Aria! You are so smart at picking out your outfits each day!”, or “You have such a sweet heart caring for your sister!”, or “Look at how gentle you are sharing your toys!”, versus focusing on external beauty as much. Thus teaching my daughter that she is smart, has a sweet heart, and acts gently towards others. All things she should be proud of!
Speaking Up
One of the biggest problems women have is standing up for themselves. That is why women empowerment is such a huge topic these days. As women we also have a voice and we need to be heard! It is so important that we, as women, speak up and be assertive about what we think or feel so that we are heard. Knowing how important we are and that what we have to say matters, gives us the opportunity to make a difference in a world that otherwise might be lacking.
This all might sound a little feminist, but what I mean by this is that I want to teach my girls to stand up for themselves so as to not have to suffer unnecessarily! I can not count the times in my life that I have been submissive and kept quiet because I either doubted myself or because I didn’t want to cause conflict, only to have been right in the end or have had to suffer for my silence. It actually makes me mad the numerous times I haven’t spoken up when I should have, and I am determined to teach my daughters the opposite. I want my girls to know they have a voice and that they are important and they should be heard! I encourage this by asking “What do YOU want to do today?”, or “What do you think of that?”, or “Do you like this or that? Why or why not?”.
Equip Them With Skills
Women are doing more and more things these days. Careers are becoming more defined by skill instead of gender, and we even have had a woman run for president! It is so wonderful that us women are realizing that we can do anything a man does and we can be proud of that. It is so important that we are sending this message to our future generations.
I am so proud of the fact that I am the one in my relationship that is known to be the better griller, builder, and task handler. Growing up, my Dad taught me how to change a tire, check the oil on my car, build shelving units and numerous other things, and how to get down and dirty with tasks like mowing the lawn or raking the leaves. I want my girls to know more then just household chores, and I try to give them that variety of skills each and everyday. I will also let them tell me what they are interested in and allow them to explore all interests, even if that means I am driving to car derby each weekend!
Self Esteem
Having a graceful amount of self pride is something that many women struggle with. It is everywhere to constantly be judging ourselves and having something we are constantly working towards fixing. Being able to keep a chin up and walk with serious self certainty is something that we as women need to have more of.
My daughters will be raised to know it is OK to keep their head held high! Avoiding arrogance, I want to teach my girls to be self sure, and that starts with being educated. I spent many years of my life hanging my head because I was intimidated by others and I just did not think I was as good as some other girls I would meet. I want to teach my girls to be leaders, not followers, and be able to have pride in themselves so that they can move forward in life able to take mistakes and learn from them.
Staying Positive
It is SO easy to be negative. The world we live in constantly bares the ugly dark things, and rarely radiates with sunny positivity. Why? Because problems are more interesting. It is important to remember that being interesting does not mean that we have to have drama going on in our lives. Women are excellent at having some sort of issue to be complaining about, and instead of talking about the sunny day or beautiful scenery, we are talking about the look someone gave us at the grocery store.
I will be the first to admit that I am notorious for coming off as negative, and truly, most of the time I do not even realize it! My husband is often the one bringing it to my attention, and it is funny because I always considered myself to be such a positive thinker. I want to teach my girls to look at the brighter side of things before the darker. I work hard everyday to point out the positives and avoid the negatives as much as possible. For example: “Look Aria! Your little sister wanted to help you organize your toys!” instead of saying how she made such a mess.
Keeping Busy
Idle hands… Unfortunately this day in age, young girls are aggressively more depressed. Anxiety and depression is a rising issue everywhere, and it almost seems as if it is a trend to have some dark cloud hanging over their head. It is a proven fact that if you are too busy to be sad, you will be happier. The more we have going on, the better off we will be!
Truly, I hate the way I feel when I am lazy, and it is easy to be lazy if I do not push myself. I told my mom, I would rather my girls be a little competitive then not motivated at all. I plan to keep my girls busy, and encourage them to challenge themselves by joining a sport, learning an instrument, or trying a new skill that they may not have otherwise thought they could ever do. However, there is a difference in encouraging and forcing and I will be careful not to push them if they do not want to be pushed. The goal to help them to always have something they are working on, so that there is never an opportunity to be bored enough to dabble in unhealthy habits.
Bad Day Survival Kit
We all have bad days. How you deal with them is what makes it a better or worse day. As women we are lucky enough to have to deal with things such as a monthly period, growing pains, emotional ups and downs, and much more throughout life. It is inevitable that bad days will come, but it is how you handle them that makes the difference.
I remember having some really down days as a young girls and in my early teens. I remember having emotions and sensitivities that were so extreme that I spent hours journaling about my sadness or staring out the window crying. So, I want my girls to know that they can always come to me on bad days and I will teach them how to embrace the bad and learn how to recognize what they need. Creating a bad day survival kit, I hope to show my girls that yes, bad days will come, but there are things you can do to make them a little bit better! Have some chocolate, take the day off, curl up to a comedic chick-flick, hang with other girls (or your momma!), take a bubble bath and pamper yourself, or just plain get extra sleep..!
Self love is and should always be the top priority in any girl or women’s life and I want to show that to my girls by leading by example and raising them to put themselves first. If you can take care of yourself, then you can take care of others. Just like on an airplane in the case of a crash, you put your face mask on first before the assisting the person next to you. You are no help to the person next to you if you are already passed out!
SO! I hope that this has been helpful. Most of all, YOU ARE AMAZING SO LOVE YOURSELF, and Happy Valentine’s Day!
In Honor of Valentine’s Day…
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Awww this is so sweet. Self care is so important, great article. 💕💕